Attention Makes All the Difference

What you focus on expands.  That’s right.  Whatever you focus your attention on expands.  If you have a never-ending stream of thoughts about what you perceive to be your failures and short-comings, more failure will come your way.  If you think more about your successes, expanding them in your mind, you will create more successes in your life.


One of the things I do toward the beginning of every coaching call is to ask clients to tell me about the “wins” they have had during the week.  No one can say they haven’t had any “wins” during the week because we all have some “wins” every day, even if they seem small.


If you are an adult with ADD who often arrives late to appointments because you don’t allow yourself enough travel time, refocus your attention on the times that you do manage to arrive on time.  Dwell on these times, even if they seem to be few.  You will find yourself arriving at appointments more and more on time.  If you feel trapped in an endless cycle of procrastination, notice and celebrate the areas of your life where you are moving forward.  You will soon find yourself moving forward on things you used to “put off.”  Instead of talking about the things you didn’t get done, make a list of the things you did get done and talk about these.  What do you think will happen?


Intangible things count as “wins.”  In the long run, they may be more important than tangible things.  For example, if you are a teacher or a parent and you have a positive interaction with your student or child, count it as a “win.”  You’ll never know how this may affect that person years from now.  When you encourage another person and that person benefits from the encouragement, you have another “win.”  If you eat something health, exercise, or care for your body, mind, or spirit in some way, these are “wins.”  Dwell on them and set the stage for more good habits.


At the end of the day, when you lay your head down on your pillow, make a mental list of your “wins” for the day.  Let your thoughts linger more on your “wins” than on your perceived failings and you will invariably attract more “wins” into your life.  When you allow yourself to feel good about your “wins,” even the small ones, you will attract more and bigger “wins” more quickly into your life.  As always, don’t take my word for it.  Go out and try it in your laboratory, the world.


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Have a glorious week!



Thoughts Are More Important Than You Thought

Take Notice Of  What You Are Thinking

How closely do you pay attention to the 60,000 or so thoughts that run through your head every day?  Take a few minutes and really listen to the content of your thoughts.

Are you noticing thoughts like these?

  • I really “screwed up” when I made that comment this morning.  I don’t know what I was thinking!
  • I’m so disorganized and I can’t change.  That’s just who I am.
  • This project is going to be so hard and will take so much time.
  • It’s so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose it.
  • There are no good (men, women, jobs) out there.

If these kinds of thoughts dominate the parade of thoughts that stream through your mind every day, it would be in your best interest to change them.  These kinds of thoughts do not spur you on to success or improve your well-being in any way.  They may well just make you want to “give up,” especially if you are marinading in them every day.

Change Your Thoughts To Change Your Life

If you want to change things in your life, you must begin by changing the thoughts in your mind.  If you want to be a person who is organized, productive, thin, on time, fun to be with, or whatever, you must first think of yourself (imagine yourself) to be organized, productive, thin, on time, fun to be with, or whatever.  You must find ways to think thoughts that make you feel better, even if it’s just a little bit better.

Try thinking the thoughts below and notice how you feel as compared to how you felt when you thought the ones above.

  • My usual modus operandi is to say things very tactfully.
  • Organization and time management are skills that anyone can learn, even if they have ADHD.
  • Maybe it won’t be as hard or take as long as I think.  What can I do to make it easier and more enjoyable?
  • I can start with small changes.  I can begin going in the right direction by doing something as small as giving up my evening snack or walking for 15 minutes a day.
  • My middle-aged neighbor got married last year so there must be some good (men/women) out there.  My sister started a new job last month so there must be jobs out there.


Self-critical or judgmental thoughts will not help you to improve your life in any way.  They will make you feel bad and the worse you feel, the more things spiral downward.  Thoughts that make you feel better will inspire you to take action and the actions you take when you feel better will be more effective.  It is true that you become what you think about so make sure you are thinking about what you want to become!